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Protesters
are eager to make their point as soon as
they get some cheese and pickle sandwiches
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The mass of G8 protesters that gathered in
the small village of Auchterarder this month have left in their
wake a bumper profit for local businesses. Local shopkeepers explained
that they had never seen such demand for their amenities and boasted
of record sales of up to 350,000% on last years figures.
 Barry
Fraser of Frasers Bakery said,'the G8 summit has been a lifeline
for some small businesses in the area, the increased profit we have
all experienced is, in many ways, thanks to Mr Blair and the great
work he's done'.
The excellent profits were experienced across all sectors of the
local economy, with sandwich shops and car parks seeing the healthiest
rise. Bars and hotels also did very well with many of the protesters
finding time to relax and enjoy their protest.
Although some businesses struggled to cope with demand from the
temporary influx in the local population most found that they were
able to sell everything they had. The spending potential of the
protesters did not come as a surprise to many businesses who planned
well in advance by baking more scones, making more sandwiches and
buying in huge supplies of fizzy drinks.
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Happiness
spread through the community with the
boost in commerce thanks to the G8 protests
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"The protest pound is a very lucrative
market", explained marketing director Steven Shuttlebus,
"we are currently experiencing a boom in the popularity
of protesting and the smart businessman is cashing in". Research is
beginning to reveal that any protest with an anti-American slant are by
and large
the most profitable. Stop the War and Free Palestine marches
have also been flagged up as cash cows, however pro-communism
demonstrations have been shown to buck the trend by bringing
only slight increases in the profits of surrounding industry.
"We are very excited about the spending potential of British
protesters", Chancellor Brown admitted yesterday, "its a
growing industry and we expect to see a marked increase in
the next few years".
Big business has been quick to jump on the band wagon with
Coca-cola planning a 'Hell no, we wont go' protest later
this summer and rumours are rife about a Sony backed protest-mega-festival
in the pipeline for early next year. |
