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September 2005 Issue 3
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Suicide pigeon shot dead outside busy shopping centre
An armed officer keeps the area clear minutes before the pigeon was destroyed using repetitive gun fire
An armed officer keeps the area clear minutes before
the pigeon was destroyed using repetitive gun fire

A new terror alert has been issued across the country after an overweight pigeon stuffed with explosives was shot and killed outside a Birmingham shopping centre.

The pigeon is thought to have flown to the UK from a terror training base in Afghanistan, after being force fed semtex explosives for the last 2 months.

It was revealed the pigeon had a mobile phone receiver attached to its wing and was to be detonated after it had landed at its intended target.

The terror bird would have succeeded in its mission had it not been spotted acting suspiciously outside the Fort Shopping Park in Birmingham by the vigilant watch of local shoppers.

"I was just popping in to collect some dry cleaning when I spotted this enormous pigeon walking back and forward in the car park area", explained local shopper Philip Simpson, "I knew by the way it was acting and by its size that something wasn't right, so I called 999 and explained the situation".

The body of the failed pigeon terrorist which was
The body of the failed pigeon terrorist which was
eventually swept up and taken away for analysis

Anti-terror squads were immediately on the scene and the area was quickly evacuated. The police took no chances with the bird and rapidly shot its head off. It was only after the dead birds contents were analysed that it was revealed just how deadly the bird was.

This is the first case of pigeons being used as suicide bombers and the potential risk from these flying terrors is only just being realised.

All British police have been issued with a shoot to kill directive on any suspicious pigeons and the public have been asked to be especially watchful of any pigeons that show signs of bloating or stumpy feet.

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A new Anti-Pigeon bill is expected to be rushed through in the next few days which will aim to control the possession of pigeons and to clamp down on any pigeon training within the British isles.