Front Page
September 2005 Issue 3
Top Story
Climate pact between US and Asia-Pacific states way more groovy than Kyoto
Australian Prime Minister John Howard and Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi love the plan
Australian Prime Minister John Howard and Japanese
Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi love the plan

The new US/ Asia-Pacific climate pact has been gaining increased international support thanks to its laid back and 'groovy' style.

Former signatories of the old uptight Kyoto agreement have been trying out the new pact which will allow them to set their own goals for reducing greenhouse gas emissions individually, with no interference from international committees.

The US led pact outlines ways of reaching emissions targets with the least amount of effort.

Countries agreeing to the new plan can simply set their own emissions target at the end of the year, after they have already been emitted, which gives them much more time to just chill out.

Both the US and Australia have refused to ratify Kyoto, which came into effect earlier this year, partly, they say, because the actual limitations imposed by the agreement don't fit with the industrial growth of the country. This new pact, however, will mean a countries climate considerations can be pushed way below industrial development - where it belongs.

"This is a win-win situation", said Australian Prime Minister John Howard, "we've all got a new set of goals identified and we're going to stick to them, and those bloody, lentil eating, lefties can see our targets are being achieved".

Critics say the new deal may not be as good as some have proposed.

"It's a complete load of bollocks",said Sir Bernard Johnson, the UK government's chief scientific adviser, "it is impossible to reduce the worlds greenhouse gas emissions if there is not a world agreement. It does however fit the huge bloated needs of the US and because of that it will probably become even more popular".

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US Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick laughed off these claims and insists the new pact will in fact complement the old Kyoto agreement, annoyingly referring to it as 'Kyoto's cooler brother'.

The new Fonzy style 'no rules' deal has come as a very welcome 'dude' indeed for all its new pals including China, India, South Korea and Japan and if things keep going well it is likely that many more countries will start chillin with the grooviest climate pact around.