| In Brief |
Iraqi
referendum builds hope for Starbucks
expansion plans
Brazillian Police shoot British carpenter
Outer Mongolia application for EU membership approved
Bush calls for a new War on Nature
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| Entertainments |
Nike launch 'anti-Nike' Nike shoe
Schizophrenia, Heroin Addiction and Death - 3 great
ways to celebrity immortality
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China
buys the UK for capital production opportunities
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Citizen
Tony Blair hands China's Prime Minister
Jiabao
Wen the deeds to the country
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The final transfer of ownership
of the UK was completed today when ex-Prime Minister
Tony Blair handed all rights, titles and ideologies of
the UK over to Chinese Prime Minister Jiabao Wen.
The deal which cost the Chinese Republic an estimated £300
trillion will see much of their low end plastic toy production moved
to the Isle. The UK, or the Western Chinese Province, as it is now
known will soon see a 100% reduction in crime, homelesness and rock
music.
Full Story >>
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Baked
GM cow tumor triumphs at Food from Britain Export Awards
 A
surprise new British delicacy has become the latest darling
of the British culinary community by being named as a candidate
for the prestigious Export Inspiration of the Year Award.
The new taste delight is made simply from the
ripe tumours of diseased mutant GM cows. The suculant growths are
baked until brownish grey giving them a crisp outer shell with
a warm tender centre. Full
Story >>
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