Front Page
October 2005 Issue 4
In Brief

Iraqi referendum builds hope for Starbucks expansion plans

Brazillian Police shoot British carpenter

Outer Mongolia application for EU membership approved

Bush calls for a new War on Nature


Entertainments

Nike launch 'anti-Nike' Nike shoe

Schizophrenia, Heroin Addiction and Death - 3 great ways to celebrity immortality


FEATURE
 
Top Story
China buys the UK for capital production opportunities

Citizen Tony Blair hands China's Prime Minister Jiabao Wen the deeds to the country
Citizen Tony Blair hands China's Prime Minister
Jiabao Wen the deeds to the country
The final transfer of ownership of the UK was completed today when ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair handed all rights, titles and ideologies of the UK over to Chinese Prime Minister Jiabao Wen.

The deal which cost the Chinese Republic an estimated £300 trillion will see much of their low end plastic toy production moved to the Isle. The UK, or the Western Chinese Province, as it is now known will soon see a 100% reduction in crime, homelesness and rock music.
Full Story >>

Baked GM cow tumor triumphs at Food from Britain Export Awards

Suicide pigeon shot dead outside busy shopping centreA surprise new British delicacy has become the latest darling of the British culinary community by being named as a candidate for the prestigious Export Inspiration of the Year Award.

The new taste delight is made simply from the ripe tumours of diseased mutant GM cows. The suculant growths are baked until brownish grey giving them a crisp outer shell with a warm tender centre. Full Story >>

 
Other Headlines
i-Pod incentive scheme can bring World Peace
i-Pod incentive scheme can bring World PeaceUN President Kofi Annan today announced that a new international i-Pod incentive scheme is to be rolled out in the next few months with the intention of bringing the world into a state of harmony and love.
Full Story >>

Fat purists say 'NO' to Americanisation of obesity scale
Fat purists say 'NO' to Americanisation of obesity scaleAn angry mob of big British fatties today waddled their way down to Downing Street to submit a petition demanding that UK obesity be recognised as seperate and unique from the US obesity scale.
Full Story >>

Signup to get TheCC in your inbox
Email Address
The Chicken Count™ is only intended for people of 18 years and over
Contact | Swap Links | Site Map