Issue 1
EU split widens over last jaffa cake dispute
G8 protests brings 'kick ass' profits to local businesses
Stelios announces launch of easyToilet
Smoking ban brings new fears of 'really sweaty, fart smelling' pubs

Issue 2
Clarke launches Swab for Prizes scheme
Sony unveil Happy Slapping Hands Free Kit
Queens pants only cost us 0.003p per year each
Scientists clone pro-cloning campaigners

Issue 3
Lord Coe to Pimp London Prostitutes for Olympic 'Construction Revenue'
Suicide pigeon shot dead outside busy shopping centre
Local Reverend Arrested in Illegal Mushroom Trafficing
Climate pact between US and Asia-Pacific states way more groovy than Kyoto

Issue 4
China buys the UK for capital production opportunities
Baked GM cow tumor triumphs at Food from Britain Export Awards
i-Pod incentive scheme can bring World Peace
Fat purists say 'NO' to Americanisation of obesity scale

Issue 5
Deputy Prime Minister Prescott spotted rambling naked on Google Earth™ Software
Asda/Prison duplex to aid difficult prisoner reform procedures
NHS opens its broken arms to private enterprise
Lloyds TSB introduce new 20 pence branch entry/exit charges

Issue 6
Blunket filmed in S&M cocaine binge with Colombian arms dealer, insists he'll be back
Threat of bird flu could bring UK's worst ever hysteria epidemic
Immigration tests noticably low on Benny Hill related questions
Automatic Spunk Banks herald a new age in UK sperm donation

Issue 7
Tory leader blows 'hip youth' disguise, admitting he thinks Westlife are cool
Anne Robinson beheaded by disgruntled quiz show contestant pushed over the edge
24 hour news blamed for UK binge drinking culture
Jehovah Witness House Calls now illegal under new Anti-Terror Bill